Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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