Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
