apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's shark week go big or go home
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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