They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize