You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
