i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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