There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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