I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
