Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
