So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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