you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize