If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
