***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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