trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
