ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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