this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
