what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize