im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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