Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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