I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize