and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
