turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
