I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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