I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
