i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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