Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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