Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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