I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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