just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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