Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
