I feel like abortions should bother me more
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Oh god it's open bar.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
