Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize