I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
