Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
