that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize