i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm always down for nudity.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
