What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
