I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
