just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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