brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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