have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
