I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
