I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
