dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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