it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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