I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
