My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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