nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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