You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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