yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
