He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
