so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
