I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
