You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
