1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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