just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize