Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
