I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
