Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
