Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
