$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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