you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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