you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
