glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
