Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
