it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
