kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
