I'm really into asian looking animals
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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