I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
