OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
